◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇ KISSU POLICE COMMAND: You are commanded, MISTER CHRIS, to give one kissu minimum to SALMON effective ASAP. ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
Who the fuck is Salmon and why should I give the fucks?
What the fuck ever, Char’ll kick my ass if I piss off any police right now. Lemme just find where this chick is.
Shit this is weird but you know what, whatevver. Some freak wanted me to kiss you. Wanna humor them or is that a big fat no?
What sort of sick fucking fuck would want you to kiss me? Like, seriously, what the fucking hell?
Here. You want a fucking kiss, asshole? You got one.
*The punch Chris just gave to Zerxes’s mouth would make Florence and the Machine proud*
1 year ago
1 note
Shit, that fucking chick? She’s annoying as fuck. Talks too much, and too loudly, and hey, she doesn’t like me? Boo fucking hoo, I don’t like her either.
She types too slowly and she hesitates when it comes to being involved with guys like me.
How fucking boring can you be, right?
1 year ago
1 note
Oh wow is this seriously the best the mafia has to offer? Mr. Clean? He's going to clean up the city of it's defective scum AND polish our counters! All while wearing the girliest of fucking purples oh wait no that's just your hue. Hah. You're so in the closet you're finding christmas gifts, dude. You look like a giant beacon for "Please fuck me, gentlemen, my ass wishes to be rammed and my shit wants to be packed". Fearsome mob worker, get real dude. Let the big kids play these games.
Woooow.
You’re clearly just looking to get introduced to your own ass, yeah? Fucking hell, I sure as fuck can help with that, chickenshit.
1 year ago
1 note
Chris what do you do when you've got the shits.
I…. fucking go and shit? What the hell is this? I go and shit and I med myself the fuck up and then I take the day off because obviously something’s wrong.
1 year ago
1 note
gotcha! can you teach me to be a secret agent too? just in case big bad evil spies come attack me! then I can be a secret agent super hero! and save the world! pschoooo!Well, I don’t fucking know about making you a secret agent, hahha. Char would have my balls for that. But, I’ve been talking to her, and we’ve decided that once you’re outta that fucking plaster, we’ll be teaching you how to defend yourself, okay?
alright Uncle Chris! golly I’ve never had an uncle, what do uncles do? *smiling a little bit, looks up and attempts to ruffle the hair that doesn’t exist on his head*Shit, I dunno. My uncles were always busy- uh. Being secret agents. So they weren’t around a whole lot. I’ll keep an eye on you though, how’s about that? *grins*
1 year ago
2 notes
wear-the-curls-be-the-sky replied to your post: so uh… h-how about that poopoo face wear-the-curls-be-the-sky, hunh mister Chris? isn’t he a poopoo face?
m-mister Chris… I love you too! Even if you’re a poopoo face sometimes and and can I call you uncle can you be my uncle Chris?
…Gee, thanks, so glad you think I’m a shithead. *barks a laugh* But fine, kid. You can call me Uncle all merry fucking day if that’s what you want. *ruffles hair*
1 year ago
2 notes
look at me my name is Chris and I think I'm the best thing in the whole world and I swear and say things like assbutt and I make people feel bad by calling them little kids and I like eating poop! lots of poop! I eat poop and butt all the time.
I… what the hell is this. The fuck? Seriously?
1 year ago
1 note
